Writer, Actor & Creator of Fun!

You’re a Vampire – That Sucks!: A Survival Guide Reviews

“This little guide… takes a jolly little trip along the highways and byways of the media vampire”

Vamped.org  (Click to read full review)

“This is the perfect gift for the newly turned vampire in your life. Dicce approaches the heavy topic with humor and grace.”

“If you’re looking for guidance in your new life or just for something different in the vampire line, you can’t go wrong with Dicce’s advice.”

–Bill Crider’s Pop Culture Magazine  (Click to read full review)


“…a light hearted romp that any vampire lover will enjoy.”

–Speculative Fiction Book Review  (Click to read full review)


“But it’s far less common to encounter a guidebook for newbie vampires themselves, which makes YOU’RE A VAMPIRE: THAT SUCKS! an interesting read. “Count” Domenick Dicce comes off as worldly and capable, offering hard-won wisdom to potentially undeserving vampire readers. This is a quick read that might just surprise over-saturated genre readers.”

–San Francisco Book Review  (Click to read full review)

“In ‘Count’ Domenick Dicce’s unique spin on the monster survival guide…you’ll learn just what it’s like to be the one dodging wooden stakes rather than wielding them. Count Dicce’s exhaustive guide includes tips, tricks, and trade secrets on how to cope with your new existence.”

–Celebrity Parent Magazine  (Click to read full review)

“This is all I have time to say. Check this out.”


“If I ever become a vampire, I know exactly what to do.
This guide had everything you wanted to know about being one and how to survive. What to do and what to avoid.”


You’re a Vampire: That Sucks! is prescribed for treatment of moderate to severe cases of nosferatu ennui. Side effects include laughter and prolonged snickering. Warning: reading Domenick Dicce may become habit-forming.”

E.E. Knight, author of the Vampire Earth series


“What a hilarious and useful book for the recently vampirized!”

Robert Rapoza, author of THE VISITORS


“Finally, a guide for the living undead! Count Dicce’s delightful book helps the novice vampire deal with everything from finding a suitable job to recipe tips for creatively satisfying your insatiable blood lust. A fun, informative guide that I know I’ll be relying on.”

Andrew Mayne, author of Angel Killer


“A must-read for the recently dead, which walks the reader through the first and awkward years of vampirism. This Transylvanian romp will have you giggling as it guides you through finding a decent meal, making fang-toothed friends, and avoiding wooden-stake-wielding psychopaths.”

Taylor Bayouth, author of How to Steal the Mona Lisa