Writer, Actor & Creator of Fun!

You’re a Vampire – That Sucks!: A Survival Guide

Vampire Survival Cover

Being bitten by and turned into a vampire isn’t the glitz and glamor that Hollywood makes it out to be. In fact, one out of five newly turned vampires will succumb to a slew of easily avoidable and common pitfalls within their first few months as a nightwalker—tempting garlic-laced Italian food and silver jewelry are only a few of the things that will have to go.

As an answer to this tragic loss of undead life, “Count” Domenick Dicce has written the definitive how-to guide that just might save your pale, ice-cold skin. This helpful tome will cover everything from Vampire 101—such as hunting, feeding, and getting used to your new powers—to Vampire Graduate Studies—such as coffin selection, the ghoulish world of vampiric social hierarchy, and the universal Laws of the Vampire.




I was fortunate to have the talented Rick Shiers do the inside illustrations for  You’re A Vampire: That Sucks! A Survival Guide.  His artwork was better than anything I could have imagined.  I was given a preview of his rough sketches and able to give notes on how I thought they might better tie into the larger story.  Below are three examples of his original drafts and final work side by side.


Starbloods Logo

For the Starbloods logo, I originally asked for a melding of the Starbucks and Red Cross logos.  While I loved the overall design, it was missing that Vampire flair.  Rick Shiers knew exactly how to make the logo work.


Superhero Vampire

I absolutely loved the costume Rick designed for the superhero vampire.  Since I am a huge comic book geek, I wanted that symbol all heroes have.  Spider-Man, Super-Man and the X-Men all have their logo that instantly identifies them.  Since Batman was already using a bat, I asked Rick to give this superhero his own insignia.


Vampire Eye Diagram

The anatomical diagram of the vampire eye was absolutely perfect. For this image, I just need the labels changed.  Tapetum lucidum was described in detail and needed to be labeled.  Since this book is written for vampires, “Evil Eye Control” did not seem appropriate.




Count Domenick Dicce Author Picture by D’Jef Baker

“This little guide… takes a jolly little trip along the highways and byways of the media vampire”

Vamped.org  (Click to read full review)

You’re a Vampire: That Sucks! is prescribed for treatment of moderate to severe cases of nosferatu ennui. Side effects include laughter and prolonged snickering. Warning: reading Domenick Dicce may become habit-forming.”

E.E. Knight, author of the Vampire Earth series

“But it’s far less common to encounter a guidebook for newbie vampires themselves, which makes YOU’RE A VAMPIRE: THAT SUCKS! an interesting read. “Count” Domenick Dicce comes off as worldly and capable, offering hard-won wisdom to potentially undeserving vampire readers. This is a quick read that might just surprise over-saturated genre readers.”

–San Francisco Book Review  (Click to read full review)


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Kelli was my publicist at Penguin. She did an amazing job getting me on radio shows, podcasts and even television.  Promoting my book was a learning process, but I found myself becoming more relaxed with each interview and having more fun with the process.

The Stuph File with Peter Anthony Holder

Peter was great to work with and helped guide me through my first interview as a professional writer.  The program did a great job in their editing to compensate for my inexperience and making me appear competent.


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Book Trailer